Watching Over Me (song series)

I have a whole batch of black-eyed susans growing outside my house.  I planted the wildflowers there a few years back. It had always reminded me of our family vacations up north in St Ignace, Michigan. Outside the little white cabin the black-eyed susans scattered the landscape along with wild daisies instilling a feeling of carefree joy.  It reminds me of my childhood where that simple faith and happiness rested. I felt contented just gazing at those simple flowers and it inspired a song reminding me of God’s care and faithfulness to us and to the nature He created for His glory.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Click here to listen to "Watching over me" audio

Watching Over Me

Becki J Buescher

Blue bird floating

Beneath the morning sun

Wrapped in hues of feathered cerulean

With a faithful hand, God provides for you

Black-eyed Susan

How lovely is your crown

Clothed in splendor with shades of gold and brown

To His delight, you are beautiful

Oh, how my heart sings

In natures symphony

No need to worry 'bout a thing

God's watching over me

Watching over me

Rain clouds drift in

Relieving rain it brings

Satisfying even the deepest greens

The mighty oak tree raise their limbs in praise

I am His beloved

Oh how He loves me so

More than I will ever know

Dear Mother-to-be

I had the privilege of being part of my friend Allision's baby shower yesterday and had written a little bit of my thoughts down to read at the shower.  I decided to share what I wrote with others.  I hope this brings encouragement...and maybe some sweet memories for you.

Dear Mother-to-be,

Would I be able to comprehend what was in store while in the throws of pregnancy?  The joys, the sorrows, the late nights, the early mornings, the cuddles, the tantrums, the noisy-can’t-think-straight, the “why is it so quiet”, the frustrations, the tears, the sweet kisses, the messing finger prints, the bored, and the overwhelmed moments that await me could never even be fathomed in my newly enlisted motherhood brain.  I believe THAT is by the grace of God.  He will reveal in His time the strength and wisdom needed for each and every moment that lie ahead, developing a heart that can absorb all that overabundance of joy, love, and patience.  

Would I change a single moment? Not a chance. Would I kinda like to forget a few…maybe?  But it still baffles me how God molds and forms each crack and bump of my clay-like soul at the time I need it most.  Sometimes it is when I am soft and willing…sometimes He has to chip away at my rigid hardness and it hurts to the core.  But He loves me enough to do it…despite me, despite my lashing out, and despite my selfish and stubborn heart.

You are coming into the most amazing journey.  You will not be perfect.  You will not have it all together.  You will struggle.  You will cry.  You will be overwhelmed at times. You will have some days where you want to give up. But one thing is sure…you will not regret one moment spent with your daughter.  You will be held during this beautiful new chapter of your life, just as you hold your little girl.  As you look into her eyes you will see a whole new side of your walk with God that hadn’t yet been revealed to you.  You are a mother who had a front row seat to the miracle that God used you to create.  There is no sweeter gift.  There is no nobler job either than to raise this little one that you have been so purposefully entrusted with.

There will be days you will struggle with your loss of independence, but the replacement is ten fold the blessing.  For you will again have that independence when the children are grown and be wishing to return to that time.

It will take time to adjust to your new schedule and responsibility.  But you can do it and do it beautifully but not because of your own ability.  For God is right there with you filling in each crack of insecurity, weakness, uncertainty, and anxiety with Himself.  He keeps us a float and He keeps us breathing.  He gave you this gift so you better believe His grace is sufficient to make you into the mother that He intended for you to be.

It will be hard to actually imagine how you can love a little being so much.  But don’t be alarmed if that love takes time to realize. There is a saying that having children is "deciding forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body," You will ache for her.  God knows what He is doing to place that inside us.  It drives us to pray over and raise our children to know their Creator, to discipline, to love, to encourage, and to provide.  As mothers, we will be our children’s’ number one fan.  So when you first lay eyes on your little baby, tell her how much you love her, tell her how beautiful she is…and tell her every day after.

Holding My Children with Open Hands

My little guy wasn’t feeling well yesterday after his nap.  He just felt “off” as he does at times when he first wakes up. He was a bit more demanding for me to spend exclusive time with him, just to sit with him. I had so much to get done especially with the neediness of my 1 year old.  I appeased him with some frequent times on the couch with him in between bouts of getting up to retrieve things or to clean up. It wasn’t until evening I realized the extent of his illness when the fever began and he looked miserable and beaten down. I then became more involved in his care and comfort.  I felt guilty of not taking it as serious earlier and just meeting the simple request to sit.  Just sit next to him.  Why is it so difficult as a mother to do this?

As I took him to bed that night, he was too weak to even get up so I carried him.  I laid with him for a while, prayed over him, and stroked his hair back from his hot forehead.  He could barely keep his eyes open when I asked, “is there anything I can do for you, buddy?” He quietly replied, “Just pray.”  Oh how those words broke me and I wept. Hearing this from such a young child made me see him as God’s – not mine.  The way he spoke held this understanding sense of his own mortality. I immediately began to fear that God would take him from me.  I did pray -  hard – for his healing, for my peace in holding him with an open hand, for God to do with his child as He has intended.  With brokenness I remained with him until he fell asleep.

In the book of 1 Samuel, Hannah had cried out for a child and promised to give him up to God’s purposes if she would be so blessed as to conceive, and give birth to a child.  God fulfilled her desire.  Some experts say Samuel could have been as young as four years old when he was weaned and, as promised, presented and passed over to God’s temple.

My Samuel turned four two days ago. 

I felt God reminding me again in this moment that this child was not my own.  How can a mother’s heart wrap around that thought of letting go of my hold on my son?  It will be a constant struggle and lesson, as I will be reminded often of my role as a mother…to raise my children up to serve Christ and humanity for God’s glory.  There may be some deathly scary moments ahead and I must release them now into God’s hands and know His plan for my child’s life will far exceed anything that I could conjure up for him.  And what control do I truly have.  I serve by raising them now with love and discipline under the wing of my Savior.

Samuel is well today -praise the Lord.  Eternity still falls heavy on my heart though.  Will I ever stop worrying about my children?  No.

We trust. We pray. We must remind ourselves that though we raise them, God has the final say in their life. This should not come as a fearful thought, however, but as comfort that HE has their BEST interest for His Kingdom in mind and His plan is perfect.

 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 1:27-28

His Grace is and will be sufficient in the meantime for us mothers.